darkluna: (Default)
Which is the better way to live one's life: by cherishing a dream—say, the dream that I might someday find someone to fall in love with—or to admit defeat and give up?

I feel I've given the first option more than a fair try. I've kept my eyes open. I've tried to be in places where I might meet someone interesting. I've read the damn books with the titles like Dreaming the Life You Desire and visualized my little heart out. I've sat in the circle of hell that is the southern bar and watched drunken frat boys abuse the elevated handslap. I've descended into the special pit of hell that is online dating, where grammar goes to die and no one is even in the same zip code as remotely acceptable. I've gotten excited when I've met someone who seems like he could be right, and I've gone from feeling actual sadness when it doesn't work out to feeling pretty much nothing at all. Lately I don't even get as far as thinking someone might be right.

Despite this being the sort of attitude the universe is supposed to love contradicting, The Boy For Me has failed to appear.

He has failed to appear so steadfastly and for so long that at this point, if he does exist, I'm kind of pissed at him. "Fuck you," I want to say to him. "Fuck you for not showing up when just a little extra income in my household would have been enough to let me stay in my favorite city in the world. Fuck you for not being there when I was in despair because I had screwed up and needed someone to help me and comfort me. Fuck you for letting me down."

The romantic in me sometimes still insists he'll be here Any Second Now. "Hang in there," she says. "Keep living your life the best you can, and when you're both ready, there you'll be in the same place." But I'm becoming more and more certain that the last few years have been the world hitting me on the head with a baseball bat saying, "Nobody's coming, nobody's coming."

Which is worse: false hope, or no hope?
darkluna: (angry dome by keylesslock)
Dear Tennessee,

So you passed your little anti-gay-marriage amendment. And not just by a little. By 80% jerkwad bigots to 20% sane, nice people. I am even more ashamed than usual to be from here.

In fact, you know what, Tennessee? Fuck you. That's right. Fuck you right up the ass. I officially disown you as of now.

no love,
darkluna
darkluna: (teddy-tongue)
Dear OKCupider with your pasty-white, Celtic-tattooed flab all up on your page,

1. You did not fall in love with my profile. That is idiotic.

2. It's painfully obvious that, in your case, "I'm poly" is shorthand for "I can't keep it in my pants, but if I dress it up in new agey terms, cheating on my wife is not only allowed, it's cool!"

3. If we had met in person, you'd be trying to hug me within thirty seconds, and would probably even ask my permission in some creepy, creepy way.

In other words, bugger off and don't come back.

***

It's never the ones I wish were poly. It's never the hot boy who owns the tea placea younger guy with pretty hair. It's always some skeevy 45-year-old who decides at first glance that I'm his third special soulmate or whatever the fuck.
darkluna: (angry dome by keylesslock)
IRS,

You FUCKER. What have I done to you? Seriously. Did I run over your puppy? Did I make your mommy cry?

Every year I make sure I've told the truth on my W-4. Every year I owe money. Not just a little money. A thousand fucking dollars. Every. Fucking. Year.

I should not have to take vast chunks out of my paycheck every month just to ensure I don't have to write you a big huge check every April. If I put the right info on the W-4, you should take out the right amount of taxes. I should not owe you anything. Is any of what I'm saying making sense to you, you crack-addled monkey whore of a governmental agency?

no love,
darkluna

Dagnab it

Jan. 30th, 2006 01:39 pm
darkluna: (Default)
Almost Valentine's Day, and I forgot to get a boyfriend again.
darkluna: (Default)
I really think my tin of peppermint bark should be just a little less difficult to get into than Fort Knox. :-)

On CNN just now I heard W claiming that his tax cuts have created jobs. I assume this is untrue in practice, because at this point if he said the sky was blue, I'd look out the window to check. But can anyone explain to me how it would even work in theory? Is the measly couple hundred dollars most middle-class families get from these cuts really enough disposable income to create enough of a larger demand for products that it would give even one extra person a job? Even allowing that they put that $200 or whatever back into the economy instead of saving it or spending it on gas or their heating bill? I mean, WTF?

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