darkluna | (no subject)

Especially around the holidays, I think there's a real need for this: some sort of Family Exchange service. That way, when yours starts to drive you absofuckinglutely batshit, you can farm them out to someone else. Mine comes with cookies, guilt, an adorable nephew, teetotalling trailer trash, a mom who says "Be careful" when you have no plans more dangerous than going up the stairs to bed, pretty awesome Xmas presents, a sense of inferiority, crazy house rules for poker, and the lecture called You Have To Decide To Be Happy And Also Quit Smoking. So it's a good mix of the nice and the batshit-making.

In exchange, could I borrow a family that won't call out a SWAT team if I happen to miss their phone calls for a whole--gasp!--24 hours? Like a hippie single mom who grows her own veggies, has never been to a family reunion, and would actually encourage me to randomly move to the Berkshires to "find myself"?

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You could borrow my mom. She never calls and it's pretty impossible to get ahold of her yourself, plus she gardens. My extended family does come with drunks and losers on one side and self-absorbed yuppies on the other, though.

A little benevolent neglect would be fine with me. And if you need cookies and a keen interest in your life, you can borrow my mom.