I've been guilty of using the phrase 'lady' before, but I always associated it with respect for a female, rather than imposing a set of standards on someone.
Color me surprised that the phrase had a sinister context, although after reading the logic behind it, I can certainly see it.
Well, context is everything. I know the Bad Use when I see it, but can't really define it outright. I guess when someone is ignorant of spelling and grammar rules and uses "lady," I'm more likely to assume they are ignorant in general and mean it in the old-fashioned, restrictive sense.
I certainly don't go looking for misogynistic intent if a friend uses it and clearly means it, as zinnea said, as a pure synonym for "woman." And some people are allowed to say "milady" with impunity. (Yes, you're one of them. ;-))
I would tend to assume that someone who was wiling to be a friend of darkluna would tend not to be the sort of person to use lady in the bad way. I think it's like obscenity--impossible to define, easy to see.
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Color me surprised that the phrase had a sinister context, although after reading the logic behind it, I can certainly see it.
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I certainly don't go looking for misogynistic intent if a friend uses it and clearly means it, as
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