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It's raining men...yay?
Suddenly I have Possibilities.
Bachelor #1 is pretty, pretty, pretty and way too young, and I've already talked about him, and we'll see if anything happens.
Bachelor #2 is a cutie I noticed way back when I first moved here, who has lately been winking at me and otherwise stepping up the flirtation. He has many lovely tattoos, which is always a plus, and his hair changes color and configuration more often than mine. And, unlike B1, I know where to find him if I wanna.
I went out with Bachelor #3 a few times and then, well. On our third date, he sneakily tried to put his arm around me while we were walking.
BOY: *sneak!*
DARKLUNA'S BRAIN: No touching! No touching!
DARKLUNA'S FEET: *hurry-up*
DARKLUNA: Ooh, look at the cool books in this here window.
DARKLINA'S BRAIN: Hey, that totally seemed accidental. Way to go, feet!
A bit surprised by my brain's outburst, but trusting it on this, I let B3 go gentle into that good night, and he seemed to do so quite obligingly. Except that he sent me mail yesterday. While he is very nice and has good taste in music and movies and stuff, he's almost...too nice? I don't mean "Ooh, treat me like crap, baby."[1] I mean that he didn't seem to have his own opinion about anything. Everything I liked, or wanted to do, was fine with him. He's the one who caused me to post about how staying home to write porn is often more rewarding than going out with an actual human being. He's like that.
So now I have to decide what to tell him. I see a few options:
1. Lie a little and say I'm really busy right now with work and family stuff and writing, and I just don't have time for a relationship, leaving out the "with you" part.
2. Lie a little more and say "It's not you, it's me," and figure his Relationship Eupehmism Translator will function well enough for him to see that it's totally him; fool that I am, he just doesn't do it for me.
3. Lie slightly more egregiously and say "Sorry, I've met someone else." This seems more egregious because nothing has really happened with the other Bachelors yet, and "I've met someone else" seems to carry an implied "with whom I am happily ensconced in new-couple bliss."
4. Tell--god forbid--the truth and try to find a nice way to explain that my brain rebelled at physical contact, but hey, you sure are nice, seeya, good luck.
Leaning toward a nice note saying some variation of 1. As the ex's awesome ex[2] said, it's always wise to try to maintain good dating karma.
[1] Though I must admit that I am bent enough that given a choice between B3, who would probably one night say "Would you please come home with me?" and B2, who might well say "Why doncha come over here and fuck me?", I'll take the perv with the pretty tattoos every time. I don't want someone who would probably be a good dad someday. I want sweaty, filthy sex.
[2] Ex-hubby's ex-girlfriend, whom I met in SF, is eerily like me, but way more awesome.
Bachelor #1 is pretty, pretty, pretty and way too young, and I've already talked about him, and we'll see if anything happens.
Bachelor #2 is a cutie I noticed way back when I first moved here, who has lately been winking at me and otherwise stepping up the flirtation. He has many lovely tattoos, which is always a plus, and his hair changes color and configuration more often than mine. And, unlike B1, I know where to find him if I wanna.
I went out with Bachelor #3 a few times and then, well. On our third date, he sneakily tried to put his arm around me while we were walking.
BOY: *sneak!*
DARKLUNA'S BRAIN: No touching! No touching!
DARKLUNA'S FEET: *hurry-up*
DARKLUNA: Ooh, look at the cool books in this here window.
DARKLINA'S BRAIN: Hey, that totally seemed accidental. Way to go, feet!
A bit surprised by my brain's outburst, but trusting it on this, I let B3 go gentle into that good night, and he seemed to do so quite obligingly. Except that he sent me mail yesterday. While he is very nice and has good taste in music and movies and stuff, he's almost...too nice? I don't mean "Ooh, treat me like crap, baby."[1] I mean that he didn't seem to have his own opinion about anything. Everything I liked, or wanted to do, was fine with him. He's the one who caused me to post about how staying home to write porn is often more rewarding than going out with an actual human being. He's like that.
So now I have to decide what to tell him. I see a few options:
1. Lie a little and say I'm really busy right now with work and family stuff and writing, and I just don't have time for a relationship, leaving out the "with you" part.
2. Lie a little more and say "It's not you, it's me," and figure his Relationship Eupehmism Translator will function well enough for him to see that it's totally him; fool that I am, he just doesn't do it for me.
3. Lie slightly more egregiously and say "Sorry, I've met someone else." This seems more egregious because nothing has really happened with the other Bachelors yet, and "I've met someone else" seems to carry an implied "with whom I am happily ensconced in new-couple bliss."
4. Tell--god forbid--the truth and try to find a nice way to explain that my brain rebelled at physical contact, but hey, you sure are nice, seeya, good luck.
Leaning toward a nice note saying some variation of 1. As the ex's awesome ex[2] said, it's always wise to try to maintain good dating karma.
[1] Though I must admit that I am bent enough that given a choice between B3, who would probably one night say "Would you please come home with me?" and B2, who might well say "Why doncha come over here and fuck me?", I'll take the perv with the pretty tattoos every time. I don't want someone who would probably be a good dad someday. I want sweaty, filthy sex.
[2] Ex-hubby's ex-girlfriend, whom I met in SF, is eerily like me, but way more awesome.
no subject
#2 is a runner-up, as it's not technically a lie (it's you and him, as you could be boring enough or needy enough to want a milquetoast, but aren't; it's just not something to aspire to).
Either way, you want to go with an option that makes it clear that another date won't be forthcoming. 1 and 3 both offer hope.
no subject
(it's you and him, as you could be boring enough or needy enough to want a milquetoast, but aren't; it's just not something to aspire to)
I sometimes feel bad when a perfectly nice guy who's obviously a great catch simply leaves me cold. It makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me. Maybe needing someone a bit opinionated is actually something that's right with me.
And yeah, I definitely don't want to offer false hope.
pretty hair boy
I have a photo of him (with me) if you're interested.
Re: pretty hair boy
I'd love for you to send me the photo!
Pedantry, i suppose, but
I object to the notion that these are opposing values.
And I agree that a somewhat vaguer version of #4 with "the chemistry isn't there for me" is the happy intersection of kind/clear/honest.
Re: Pedantry, i suppose, but
Oh, they aren't, but if I could only have one...
And I am going with a nicened-up version of #4.