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1. Have your parents go around and look at houses to rule out the ones that are obviously wrong, overpriced, $162000 fixer-uppers, or full of ugly wallpaper you'd have to rip out.
2. Send them to look at a split foyer despite having said you didn't want one. Realize it is very cool.
3. Finally arrive in town where you are purchasing house. Go look at split foyer, which is only reasonable option after process of elimination. Decide it is nifty. Become attached to kitchen. Start mentally placing furniture.
4. Make offer. Get counter-offer from seller and up purchase price so he'll at least pay closing costs. Get offer accepted! Start loan process s l o w l y rolling.
5. Have house inspected and see that there are 18000 things wrong with it. Force seller to fix them.
6. Hear that house was appraised insanely low because appraiser has failed to count 500-square-foot finished basement as living space. Face prospect of being $20000 short on loan. Fume. Imagine appraiser crushed by garage door.
7. Get new appraisal that is not quite so low. Hunky-doriness! Proceed. Have agent strongarm seller into dropping price to be in line with new appraisal. Grit teeth and agree to pay closing costs.
8. Go to check out repairs and find that attic is still icky and rotted. Imagine seller locked in attic forever.
9. Fume. Try to sleep. Fume some more. Decide house is stupid and you hate it. Eventually sleep. (Optional but helpful for your overall state of mind: have lovely dream about object of your desire in which you are somewhere far from stupid house and stupid seller.)
10. Hear from agent and home inspector that ugly attic beams are really just sitting there being ugly; cause of damage is fixed and all are perfectly satisfied with roof. Decide house not so stupid after all.
11. Give OK to finish buying house!
2. Send them to look at a split foyer despite having said you didn't want one. Realize it is very cool.
3. Finally arrive in town where you are purchasing house. Go look at split foyer, which is only reasonable option after process of elimination. Decide it is nifty. Become attached to kitchen. Start mentally placing furniture.
4. Make offer. Get counter-offer from seller and up purchase price so he'll at least pay closing costs. Get offer accepted! Start loan process s l o w l y rolling.
5. Have house inspected and see that there are 18000 things wrong with it. Force seller to fix them.
6. Hear that house was appraised insanely low because appraiser has failed to count 500-square-foot finished basement as living space. Face prospect of being $20000 short on loan. Fume. Imagine appraiser crushed by garage door.
7. Get new appraisal that is not quite so low. Hunky-doriness! Proceed. Have agent strongarm seller into dropping price to be in line with new appraisal. Grit teeth and agree to pay closing costs.
8. Go to check out repairs and find that attic is still icky and rotted. Imagine seller locked in attic forever.
9. Fume. Try to sleep. Fume some more. Decide house is stupid and you hate it. Eventually sleep. (Optional but helpful for your overall state of mind: have lovely dream about object of your desire in which you are somewhere far from stupid house and stupid seller.)
10. Hear from agent and home inspector that ugly attic beams are really just sitting there being ugly; cause of damage is fixed and all are perfectly satisfied with roof. Decide house not so stupid after all.
11. Give OK to finish buying house!
