I've tried to convince myself that girls and boys can want sex in the same way. Sex is fun, regardless of who you're doing it with. But after a few rounds of trial and error (mostly error), I've decided that while some girls can do that (and more power to 'em), I cannot. And it doesn't stem from the "if I have sex with him, then he'll be my boyfriend and love me forever" mentality that some girls I know have. For me, sex is not that big a deal if it's not happening with someone that turns me on and finds me attractive (physically, mentally, what have you). I need mutual appreciation for more than just compatible body parts. And because it's SO amazing when you do have all the good stuff, why would you ever want to have such a significantly lesser experience? So, that said, I've found it much less agonizing to just wait for it than to try to persuede myself that I'm interested in someone just to "see where it goes." I'm so bad at dating and so okay with just being me, that I'd rather just stick it out alone (or with mechanical assistence), until I meet someone who knocks the socks off again.
You're doing the right thing. Because I would guess that the time and energy you spend fretting over it is worth a lot more than the one evening's mediocre tumble in the sheets.
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winterfish
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Date: 2005-07-20 07:37 pm (UTC)You're doing the right thing. Because I would guess that the time and energy you spend fretting over it is worth a lot more than the one evening's mediocre tumble in the sheets.