Dulce et Decorum est, part 4
Jan. 30th, 2008 09:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
darklunaCharacters: A, B, C, and L
Rating: Still G
Word count: 940 for this part
Summary: Alter is a verb as well.
1 | 2 | 3
Chapter 4: Goodbye
Even though L said again that he wasn't hurt, Cat made him come to the common room with us. He sat down on the couch and let Cat dab at his mouth with her handkerchief. Her face had gone red in splotches like some people's do when they're trying not to cry, but L looked as white as ever. When Cat was done, he began chewing on his thumb. I watched them and tried to think of something useful to say or do.
"Why aren't you mad?" I asked L.
He looked up at the lights and sighed. "I don't think B ever learned appropriate ways to express his feelings. It's not his fault."
"He doesn't have to be such a jerk," Cat said.
"He's jealous," L said.
"Of you?" I said.
"Of everybody," Cat said quietly. "I understand, L."
I thought about how bad B had to feel inside to think that hurting L would make it better, and I remembered that I had decided to try to make friends with him, and felt sorry that I hadn't done anything about it. "I do, too."
***
Classes kept us very busy, and L had another case to work on. I didn't have much time for anything but algebra, but I was afraid my other subjects would suffer. But B was very good at maths.
He preferred the library to the common room, and that was where I found him.
He hadn't chosen any of the same subjects as I had, and he was doing his criminal psychology homework.
"Hi, B," I said, and he looked up at me with his blank face, and didn't answer. "Would you help me with my maths?"
He blinked at me. I thought that was his version of an expression, but I didn't know what it meant. "OK," he finally said.
I showed him the problems in my notebook. "I don't understand how this works."
B sighed. "Let me see it." He looked at the page and shook his head. "There's a better way." He scribbled in the margin. It looked like he was making up and solving a much harder problem. "This is easier."
He explained it to me. I could tell he got a little impatient when he had to go through it twice, because he rolled his eyes, but mostly he was very nice. I thought I would be able to do it on my own.
"Thank you very much," I said.
B nodded and picked up his book again.
***
I thought trying to be friends must be working, because B began to treat us all very politely. He came outside with us more often, and one day even asked L to play tennis. L had already solved the case he had started after the winter holidays, and he had some free time too. Cat didn't come out to play very much anymore, though. She had been studying really hard.
I sat by the court and watched L and B play. When I played tennis with L, we didn't keep score, but they did. B ran after everything, and he usually caught up to the ball. I saw that he was good at tennis the way he was good at lessons. He chased everything and took wild swings that most of the time connected.
L played just like he did with me, as if they weren't keeping score at all. He still won. B hit the ball harder and ran faster every set.
L won the match, and B threw his racquet down and walked off back towards the house. L looked at me and shrugged.
B didn't have any in-between. He was either really nice to us or in a rage.
"He shouldn't play angry," I said.
"You're right. That's why he lost."
***
We had exams in the spring, and I barely saw Cat at all for several weeks, but I hardly left my own room except to walk to the library to study more, or to go to the dining hall and eat quickly.
B came first in the exam results. I was next, then Cat. We wouldn't have classes during the summer, but Miss Parker told us we ought to choose special projects to work on.
"What do you think you'll do for your project?" I asked Cat after lunch on the first day of summer hols.
"Nothing," she said. She looked angry and stubborn, and I didn't understand.
"But…"
"I'm leaving later today. I hate it here."
"You do?"
"Oh, Al, that doesn't mean I hate you. It's just… too much work. They'll let us go, you know. They'll send us to, you know, a regular orphanage."
I hadn't known that, but I didn't want to leave anyway.
"I want to be normal," Cat said. "Sorry."
"What are you sorry for?"
She smiled in a way that looked more sad than happy, the way L sometimes did. "I'm not like the three of you. You guys are going to do great things, but you'll have to do without things I don't want to give up. I… I want it to be easy. It's already been hard enough."
"I think I understand," I said.
"I knew you would." We reached her room, and she stopped with her hand on the doorknob.
"Cat, I'll miss you. I don't mind if you hug me goodbye."
She did, just for a second. It wasn't too bad when I expected someone to touch me. It was being surprised by it that I hated. "I'll miss you, too. Try and look out for L, OK?"
"OK."
Rating: Still G
Word count: 940 for this part
Summary: Alter is a verb as well.
1 | 2 | 3
Chapter 4: Goodbye
Even though L said again that he wasn't hurt, Cat made him come to the common room with us. He sat down on the couch and let Cat dab at his mouth with her handkerchief. Her face had gone red in splotches like some people's do when they're trying not to cry, but L looked as white as ever. When Cat was done, he began chewing on his thumb. I watched them and tried to think of something useful to say or do.
"Why aren't you mad?" I asked L.
He looked up at the lights and sighed. "I don't think B ever learned appropriate ways to express his feelings. It's not his fault."
"He doesn't have to be such a jerk," Cat said.
"He's jealous," L said.
"Of you?" I said.
"Of everybody," Cat said quietly. "I understand, L."
I thought about how bad B had to feel inside to think that hurting L would make it better, and I remembered that I had decided to try to make friends with him, and felt sorry that I hadn't done anything about it. "I do, too."
***
Classes kept us very busy, and L had another case to work on. I didn't have much time for anything but algebra, but I was afraid my other subjects would suffer. But B was very good at maths.
He preferred the library to the common room, and that was where I found him.
He hadn't chosen any of the same subjects as I had, and he was doing his criminal psychology homework.
"Hi, B," I said, and he looked up at me with his blank face, and didn't answer. "Would you help me with my maths?"
He blinked at me. I thought that was his version of an expression, but I didn't know what it meant. "OK," he finally said.
I showed him the problems in my notebook. "I don't understand how this works."
B sighed. "Let me see it." He looked at the page and shook his head. "There's a better way." He scribbled in the margin. It looked like he was making up and solving a much harder problem. "This is easier."
He explained it to me. I could tell he got a little impatient when he had to go through it twice, because he rolled his eyes, but mostly he was very nice. I thought I would be able to do it on my own.
"Thank you very much," I said.
B nodded and picked up his book again.
***
I thought trying to be friends must be working, because B began to treat us all very politely. He came outside with us more often, and one day even asked L to play tennis. L had already solved the case he had started after the winter holidays, and he had some free time too. Cat didn't come out to play very much anymore, though. She had been studying really hard.
I sat by the court and watched L and B play. When I played tennis with L, we didn't keep score, but they did. B ran after everything, and he usually caught up to the ball. I saw that he was good at tennis the way he was good at lessons. He chased everything and took wild swings that most of the time connected.
L played just like he did with me, as if they weren't keeping score at all. He still won. B hit the ball harder and ran faster every set.
L won the match, and B threw his racquet down and walked off back towards the house. L looked at me and shrugged.
B didn't have any in-between. He was either really nice to us or in a rage.
"He shouldn't play angry," I said.
"You're right. That's why he lost."
***
We had exams in the spring, and I barely saw Cat at all for several weeks, but I hardly left my own room except to walk to the library to study more, or to go to the dining hall and eat quickly.
B came first in the exam results. I was next, then Cat. We wouldn't have classes during the summer, but Miss Parker told us we ought to choose special projects to work on.
"What do you think you'll do for your project?" I asked Cat after lunch on the first day of summer hols.
"Nothing," she said. She looked angry and stubborn, and I didn't understand.
"But…"
"I'm leaving later today. I hate it here."
"You do?"
"Oh, Al, that doesn't mean I hate you. It's just… too much work. They'll let us go, you know. They'll send us to, you know, a regular orphanage."
I hadn't known that, but I didn't want to leave anyway.
"I want to be normal," Cat said. "Sorry."
"What are you sorry for?"
She smiled in a way that looked more sad than happy, the way L sometimes did. "I'm not like the three of you. You guys are going to do great things, but you'll have to do without things I don't want to give up. I… I want it to be easy. It's already been hard enough."
"I think I understand," I said.
"I knew you would." We reached her room, and she stopped with her hand on the doorknob.
"Cat, I'll miss you. I don't mind if you hug me goodbye."
She did, just for a second. It wasn't too bad when I expected someone to touch me. It was being surprised by it that I hated. "I'll miss you, too. Try and look out for L, OK?"
"OK."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 04:21 am (UTC)Y-You're making me love A too much, especially because of what'll happen later on. Dammit. ;___;
Your writing was wonderful, as usual, and nfdkllkdosk the House is just so... ah.
...;___;
Love.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 04:32 am (UTC)I adore A. I wish things could be different. :-(
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 04:39 am (UTC)Saaaaame. It's heartbreaking. ;^;
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 04:44 am (UTC)I am playing this DN game, and I can't get the happy ending. :'-( There is my single emo tear for all teh woez I has. *g*
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 04:47 am (UTC)Things like that make me cry many, many single emo tears. :'( Which game?
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 04:49 am (UTC)I'm playing Poisoned. So cute. But I can't make it come out right.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 04:57 am (UTC)mxzmkclxzpooid that gaaaaaaaaaaame. ♥ Which ending are you stuck getting? There's a guide for it, if you want it.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 04:59 am (UTC)I can only save Near from getting beat up once. So woeful!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 05:02 am (UTC)Sue-ishgorgeous.;^; Sad day for Near. Dammit, where'd that guide go.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 06:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 07:08 am (UTC)http://pub26.bravenet.com/forum/2164570538/fetch/676544/4
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 07:15 am (UTC)*undying gratitude, kittens, internets, all the DN pr0n your poor eyes can stand*
:D