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Feb. 22nd, 2008 01:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
darklunaLast night, I watched American Idol for about 10 seconds before deciding I was done with it for this year, but dude. DUUUUUUDE. All the boys were in suits! Some with fedoras! Marcabians for reals!!!1!
*ahem*
My writing has gotten so sparse lately. I'm not sure why. All my scenes are really short. They seem done, but I don't like how wee they are. OK, look.
On windy days, Near sometimes goes to the rooftop garden. None of the neighboring buildings are taller than L's headquarters, and with all the trees he had put here, no one can see him anyway. The air currents are capricious this high up, and Near likes to let them wash over him. It makes him feel closer to Mello, but within controlled parameters.
He needs that today. He knows what he's going to do about C-Kira—or not do, rather—and he knows it's going to make people angry. He doesn't care what they think; he cares what Mello thinks.
He spreads his arms and tilts his head back, and the wind takes his hair and the baggy shirt like twin banners. It blows away the last of his uncertainty.
That guy's a punk, Mello says. He's not worth our time.
He's right, of course.
Near hears the door back into the building open, and looks around to see Lidner. He stands up normally, and crosses his arms.
She watches him for a moment, wearing a faint smile. "Aren't you worried you'll get sick?"
"No," Near says. People often assume he's sickly—he's still slight for his age, and he'll never be anything but pale—but Lidner knows better. She must be merely casting about for something to say. "Are you cold?" he says, trying to meet her halfway.
"A little. But I don't mind." She shoves her hands into her jacket pockets and comes closer. "This case is making you angry."
"Yes," Near says, frowning. Its tackiness annoys him, but he knows she wouldn't understand.
"Your story about L," she says. "You liked him more after you found out he didn't really care?"
Near twirls a strand of hair and thinks for a moment. "I don't think he was being entirely candid. He wanted to see our reactions. L knew you have to be pragmatic to do his job. You have to use methods an idealist would balk at. Seeing yourself as some virtuous good guy has to be less important than solving the cases."
"But you are a good guy," Lidner says.
"I act like one. Most of the time. Let's see if you still think that after this case."
***
That's the whole first scene. I don't hate it, but I when I look it over, I feel like: NEEDZ MOAR THINGS. It's not even 400 words. That's teeny, yes? What am I leaving out?
I don't want to go too far the other way and get all wordy and overexplain things; I just feel like there's something I should be doing to lose less of a scene in the transition from my head to the page. I just can't see where the gaps are anymore.
Also! Man, I suck at plotting and mysteries and all that crap. I decided the serial killer was a former Kira worshipper who kind of sees what he's doing as handing L a challenge of his own, in retribution, sort of. He's pretty smart, and manages to avoid being caught long enough that Near figures out his motivation. But, um. I got nothing after that.
*ahem*
My writing has gotten so sparse lately. I'm not sure why. All my scenes are really short. They seem done, but I don't like how wee they are. OK, look.
On windy days, Near sometimes goes to the rooftop garden. None of the neighboring buildings are taller than L's headquarters, and with all the trees he had put here, no one can see him anyway. The air currents are capricious this high up, and Near likes to let them wash over him. It makes him feel closer to Mello, but within controlled parameters.
He needs that today. He knows what he's going to do about C-Kira—or not do, rather—and he knows it's going to make people angry. He doesn't care what they think; he cares what Mello thinks.
He spreads his arms and tilts his head back, and the wind takes his hair and the baggy shirt like twin banners. It blows away the last of his uncertainty.
That guy's a punk, Mello says. He's not worth our time.
He's right, of course.
Near hears the door back into the building open, and looks around to see Lidner. He stands up normally, and crosses his arms.
She watches him for a moment, wearing a faint smile. "Aren't you worried you'll get sick?"
"No," Near says. People often assume he's sickly—he's still slight for his age, and he'll never be anything but pale—but Lidner knows better. She must be merely casting about for something to say. "Are you cold?" he says, trying to meet her halfway.
"A little. But I don't mind." She shoves her hands into her jacket pockets and comes closer. "This case is making you angry."
"Yes," Near says, frowning. Its tackiness annoys him, but he knows she wouldn't understand.
"Your story about L," she says. "You liked him more after you found out he didn't really care?"
Near twirls a strand of hair and thinks for a moment. "I don't think he was being entirely candid. He wanted to see our reactions. L knew you have to be pragmatic to do his job. You have to use methods an idealist would balk at. Seeing yourself as some virtuous good guy has to be less important than solving the cases."
"But you are a good guy," Lidner says.
"I act like one. Most of the time. Let's see if you still think that after this case."
***
That's the whole first scene. I don't hate it, but I when I look it over, I feel like: NEEDZ MOAR THINGS. It's not even 400 words. That's teeny, yes? What am I leaving out?
I don't want to go too far the other way and get all wordy and overexplain things; I just feel like there's something I should be doing to lose less of a scene in the transition from my head to the page. I just can't see where the gaps are anymore.
Also! Man, I suck at plotting and mysteries and all that crap. I decided the serial killer was a former Kira worshipper who kind of sees what he's doing as handing L a challenge of his own, in retribution, sort of. He's pretty smart, and manages to avoid being caught long enough that Near figures out his motivation. But, um. I got nothing after that.
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-22 10:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-22 10:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 04:13 pm (UTC)Also, I think I just stumbled upon some great slash. Hemingway/bull slash.
Tough, virile man's shame conquered by the ardent ravishing of his bovine paramour. It practically writes itself.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 06:49 pm (UTC)Um... thanks?
I think I know people who would write that pairing for you.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 06:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 07:30 pm (UTC)I love your stuff; I'm glad you got past being freaked. There's something about this fandom that makes people prolific, huh? I've written way more for it than anything else.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 08:25 pm (UTC)I know; I think this fandom is going to get a lot more out of me than Full Metal Alchemist, Naruto, Final Fantasy, and Kingdom Hearts ever did, and that is saying A LOT. >_<;;