Try to separate my body from my mind

[darkluna]

It would be awfully convenient if I were the kind of girl who could work a fuckbuddy-type arrangement. The ChefBoy intermittently tries to convince me that we could do that, and occasionally I am tempted to propose such a thing to someone else. I would love to separate fun from feelings, but I don't think I can.

The first time PrettyButUseless and I slept together, it was like...phwaw. Wow. The last time, it was...relatively meh. It was in between that he acquired his nickname, you see. In between, I found a way out of the tangle of lust and hope and hopelessness my mind had spun around him.

So I am resolved not to try to talk myself into wanting someone just for the sake of getting some action. It almost never works, and when it does, it's never, ever worth it. It's like shopping. (No, bear with me!) I hate shopping about as much as I hate looking for someone to date, but I have more success with shopping. If a piece of clothing doesn't make me at least a little bit weak in the knees, I don't buy it. I can tell the difference between intellectual desire and visceral desire there; I need to learn it in relationships.

After all, if I want orgasms without emotional attachment, that's what a vibrator's for. It works every time, works faster than most guys, and never wants to negotiate the "no emotional attachment" part.

Comments

[rowancat.livejournal.com]

I can rarely keep emotions separate from sex, even a casual
relationship has to have emotional and i have to *like*

the woman.

The one time i got into a relationship *just* for the sex
it wound up deteriorating within a year because i didn't really like her that much and
i was just a source of orgasms for her [g]
Fine at far as that went but then she taking me for granted, started coming over drunk and sloppy and that was it.

That said, i've always done things backward first you meet and if there is that *mutual* irresistible attraction you wind up in bed within a day or two, often right away.
(staying over and spending the next day together of course)

No dates (well once but we knew what would happen)

After you're comfortable with each other and the sex thing (will we or won't we)
isn't colouring everything then you "go out" together.

Like a date but without wondering if you're going to sleep together, you can concentrate on just having fun with each other and letting the relationship develop on its own in all areas.

(I met these women at parties, roommate ads i took out,
school, etc, any intimate setting...)

Evey time i've done this the relationship ran its own course, separate paths (grad schools, new jobs across
country, careers, new venues for artists etc)

If we wanted it to last longer we would both know so the
partings were always extremely positive with options to get back together very long term if ready to settle down :)

Communication in every possible way is very important.
So is being totally at ease with each other but always
turned on to each other in every way with no taking each other for grated and paying attention to moods (including body language and verbal cues)
Umm...this is just off the top of my head and i'm tired so... ;)

[rowancat.livejournal.com]

I hate this formatting, no wonder people post in long block paragraphs. I kept on going back and forth 'tween window and
full screen. It looks like two diff posts.
"has to have emotions" no line break before "the woman"
"backwards, comma" bleah, well i said i was tired [g]